Going Home

(Several years ago, I wrote the following as a favor to a friend to be used in a hospice service. I just recently read it and realized how much it describes my mom.)

I’m headed for Home.
I may not have thought I’d be going Home at this point in my life, but I’m on my way.
The word “Home” can mean so many things to different people.
Earthly home can be warm and welcoming, tense and chilly, cold and formal
Laughing and sharing, terrorizing and brutal, sad and dismal.
I’m going Home now and soon, I’ll know what it's like.
Robert Frost once said, “Home is where, when you have to go, they have to take you in.”
I hope that’s true of God.
I hope God has to take me in, despite my foibles and unkindnesses,
Despite my lack of faith at times.
Despite my sins of pride and sloth, lust and gluttony,
Wrath, envy and greed.
I’ve known them all but I tried to live kindly.
I hope God knows that I tried very hard to be loving
Going Home is fraught with uncertainty.
Will they still like me…will they take me in?
Will I shock them? Or maybe they’ll remember my jokes and laughter?
Will I trip going up the stairs and everyone will laugh and say “that’s just like you”?
Will I get into philosophical debates or discussions of current events?
Will it be like the Garden before the Fall?
They say that we won’t recognize our fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters there.
I hope that’s not true.
I hope my family will be there, taking me in, welcoming me Home.
I can’t imagine streets paved with gold.
I think someone made that up…God wouldn’t waste his time on gold streets.
Or making us all play harps…I’d hate that.
I hope I get a job as a guardian, watching over someone still out there
Still far away from Home.
I hope Home will be a garden for gardeners, lush and green and not a bug in sight.
I hope it’ll be a library for book-lovers and a museum for art lovers.
I hope it’ll be a golf course for golfers, with no traps.
Or a mountain for those who thrill to climb, ever higher and higher.
A roller coaster for those who like speed
The wind in hair, the sudden drops and terror
Only to come safely back to Home, breathless and loving life.
I’m going Home now.
God, please have to take me in.